Your Best Foot Forward

Since Michael's days at The Wharton School, I have been a strong proponent of the capitalist system. Due to my exposure at this citadel of economic theorists I am strong believer in the basic principles of supply and demand, competition among companies and the need for constant innovation in the product world. Although I have not been clever enough to bring forth a marketplace bestseller, I dream of my place in the chia pet hall of fame.

Well, I have hit pay dirt. My day of glory is just around the corner. Morning TV shows, the Money Honey and even Wolf Biltzer will be begging for a piece of my day. The creative juices began flowing while sitting on White Bay Beach in Jost Van Dyke. I am certain it had nothing to do with the ingestion of multiple Painkiller Cocktails but rather my creative business molecules seizing an opportunity.

As you know, hardbodies from around the globe frequent white sands. Swimming from their yachts to shore, they emerge from the sea as Bo Derek did in 10. Watching the parade can be relatively depressing for a 50 something fighting a Shock and Awe Battle with cellulite. Years of research to develop treatments or lotions to rid those afflicted of the pesky pockets of fat have come to naught. No amount of rubbing or shaping seems to eliminate the built-in Floatie system.

Then it came to me. We need to develop a Farm system for cellulite free parts. Similar to farm-raised salmon, we need to develop centers for skin growth. Once harvested, one would apply the new taunt muscle-bound pieces to the afflicted areas. Choose among various shades and shapes, apply directly to the appropriate areas and spring forth to walk the beach in the your newest suit.

The production of bathing suits will explode. After years of hiding behind the strategically placed sarongs, bathers will be free to dive and swim without shame. This may be the impetus needed to kick the economy out of the recession. Not only suits, but boat and water skiing equipment sales will hit 24 hour manufacturing cycles.

Forget The Money Honey, maybe the Nobel Prize for Economics is in my future.